Focusing on others happiness before your own...

Each year we face struggles on our own, sometimes we ask for help and other times we are the help someone else needs. A way of hiding my struggles and to feel I was doing some good was to help others through their lives in order to regain their happiness. All the while I would push everything I needed to release to the back of my head and take on their issues before my own. I’m not saying you should never help other people but you need to be in control of just how long you are ignoring yourself. Otherwise there becomes a point where you take on that much for others they drift off and leave because they escape out of the ditch you pulled them out of and leave you behind. You were too busy fighting for their happiness that you forgot about your own. They leave in a better state of mind and know where they need to be to stay a float but you’re still sinking even further now. Sometimes they try and give the support back but really when you’re finally out of the mess you were in, do you really want to risk going backwards by facing someone else’s pain again? I know I wouldn’t. The difference is the people who do step back in to the pain for you and the ones who leave for good.

Having others around me happy helps me. I pick up on bad vibes as soon as I step in to a room which effects my mentality there and then. If the vibe is wrong then that can knock me off the whole positive attitude I’ve had previous in that day. I then feel its my job to change everyones attitude in order to be surrounded by a better vibe. A lot of the time I can help someone change their mental state, but it means taking their negative and storing it in my brain for them to let go of it. When they ask me what’s wrong I feel I need to hide what I have going on and put on the brave face they need to see in order to continue on the right path that day. It’s all about balance, I need people to motivate me, give me something to smile about or look forward to and I did have that on occasion last year. There were a few individuals that changed my life for the better. However for a couple of those people I lost the balance and they let go.

Things got way too much as I tried to be the light everyone needed and the problems I pushed back overflowed rapidly. I lost complete control and I put my trust in someone new to my personal life which I had never done before. They saw me in a way no one else had. It was embarrassing, and very difficult to admit that I needed that person and I felt I didn’t deserve the support that I was being given. For a long time this person cared for me, thought about my happiness first and allowed me to let go like I never had before. I couldn’t believe they didn’t expect anything back which drove me to want their happiness met equally as they were trying to do for me (but this time in a healthy way). However the more they gave to me the more I tried to fight back with myself on deserving this happiness and support which lead them to becoming the one thing they shouldn’t have been. My only reason to get up in the morning. I lost who I was when I wasn’t with them and that was unhealthy for me and them at the same time. I’m sorry for them having to see me in a negative way every time from then and I’m sorry I lost one of the best people I ever had but I will always appreciate what they did and why they needed to let go. Rightly so they needed to think of themselves and I then saw how damaging putting someone else’s happiness before yours from both sides really was!

Recently I’ve had a struggle with myself once again. I haven’t wanted to be seen or heard by anyone except for my dog. I felt everywhere I went I was taking on everyone else’s problems and didn’t have any way of releasing those. For a few days me and my dog Mickey have hidden away and I've

blocked everyone out of my life because I took on too much. Instead of hiding inside sleeping, I should have counteracted this negative energy in to fitness or my blog in order to tackle the problem I was facing. After 5 days I’m slowly snapping out of it and have started writing again and I’m slowly talking to people again. It’s okay to have an off day but don’t take on too much in the first place and I need to read back posts like this to know I can snap out of it easier!

The lesson I learned here is you can support people but you need to give just as much as you take. Allow them to release their emotions to you and you work together to make each other better and learn. Don’t rely on others is a separate post but you really shouldn’t rely on anyone else for your happiness. You need to be happy within yourself in order to make others feel the same and keep yourself on the right path to success! Talk to yourself and make sure other people are aware of your journey while you support them in order to find that balance. Don’t lose track but allow yourself to be happy.

Here’s to a better tomorrow…