Be your own inspiration...

We all have our individual problems in life. It’s not about waking up and focusing on all of the negatives, it’s about realising what needs to happen to get back to your dream or the main goal for your happiness in your life.

This morning I watched the Documentary of a young man called Billy Monger. He’s a young British racing driver whom had an awful accident in 2017 and lost both his legs in the process. I remember it happening at the time, seeing it on the news and obviously feeling sympathy towards him and his family. You realise how dangerous the sport really is and how us watching it at home can see someones life change in a matter of minutes. But it was really interesting to actually watch the documentary from his perspective. Something so serious happening and changing his life didn’t phase him one bit from the moment he woke up from his coma in hospital. He woke learning about his injuries but stayed positive from the get go working as hard as he could to recover and later on changing motorsport rulings in order for disabled drivers to get back to racing. He said so many inspiring things that really just wakes you up a little. You get on with life no matter what happens. Once something has happened you can’t go back and therefore you need to stop focusing on the upset it causes and find a way to live with what becomes your life from that moment. It may of changed his life physically but he still knew who he was and was willing to keep that going regardless of the work he had to put in to get back behind the wheel. An inspiration to all of us learning about his life story but to himself just a normal guy dealing with life and enjoying every minute no matter what happens. For me everyone should be living like this.

For me this makes me feel like my problems are nothing compared. I obviously have a good life and nothing major has happened to me for me to be dealing with my mental health so severely right now. But everyones problems in life are their own. It doesn’t matter how little the problem is, if its effecting you or preventing you from progressing and living your life to the happiest then it is important! It’s about getting to that stage of self love, seeing the best side of your life and having something to work towards in order to have the same attitude Billy has. That takes time and work but seeing stories like his does push my brain towards lighter times. If someone can have a severe accident in something they love and still want to go back to the same aspiration regardless of how it has impacted their life then to me anyone can do anything.

I want that mental strength. I don’t want to be phased by a passing comment. I don’t want to stress myself out living in a hypothetical situation constantly. I need to live for now and make the changes needed to live life better and keep going. There are a few factors in life that play a part in this and I just need to find them or build them up again. It really does start with loving myself. This is the best me and the best version people should witness when around me.

• I want to laugh and smile.

• I want to be the weird, sarcastic personality I know I have always been.

• I want my confidence back. I’ve never been the most confident person in the room but I know I’m better than I am right now.

• I want to love others and let them love me. Share my life with other people and hold on to little moments that will stay with me.

• I want to find my passion. What I mean by this is something that I can wake up everyday thinking about. Something I'm proud of and want to work towards. Something that will make me smile anytime of day and allow me to learn from at the same time. I do not know what this is and how to find it. Some people are driven and have hobbies, people or careers that they have built from a young age and have held on to. unfortunately I’ve always been indecisive and continue to be so it will take me longer to find this passion. But my god I know I need to find it.

Lately I find myself telling the people around me “I love you” more. I think this is stemming from a lack of love for myself and wanting to get it back somehow by trying to let others know I am still here somewhere and my love is still very much present for things and people in life. I’m just struggling to show it and find it for myself. People respond in different ways but this is my way of reaching out and trying to take baby steps in finding me again. I am a good person and I can be so much better than I am now. Some days I just struggle to see that or struggle to find an escape.

I have a lot of things in my head that I want to change. I know I am going to over do it and burn myself out, but let’s hope writing things down and taking things a bit slower with help will allow me to 180 my life in the best way.

- I want to reconnect with friends that I have neglected. Again not on purpose and I appreciate those who have given me the space and time I have needed.

- I want to work on myself physically. My appearance unfortunately is still something that is important to me and so I need to get back on with my fitness and looking good for me again.

- I want to help others. Not so much consuming my life with everyone else again but I want to give back and work towards helping people. Whether it’s through this blog or something else I can set up and work with. I’m still unsure what this looks like but I want to inspire and be my best self for others to do the same.

I’ll stick with these three for now. They’re still big goals so they won’t happen over night but they are achievable. Let’s stop living in the future and live for right now please. Stop taking every negative part of a situation and letting it control you. Take a breath and think about the positive.

We can all be inspirations to ourselves if anything. Not that he will ever see this but thank you to Billy Monger for inspiring this post and me today. If you want to watch his story search for his name on BBC iPlayer. Or google I’m sure will have plenty of information for you.

Suggestions always welcome and I’m of course always here to talk to! The cover picture is my logo because I simply want to work on myself and my better tomorrows so thought it was fitting.

Big Love.