A failed plan can still lead to success

I’m a planner. A bit of a control freak and have an urge to plan my day minute by minute. Some may this is impossible and I’m wasting more time planning my days this way. But you tell my obsessive self this and try get me to listen because it hasn’t worked so far. I’ve been saying to my friend James that we are both ‘addicted to stress’. We put ourselves in situations and thrive on stressful and prioritised moments. We make ourselves mad doing it but naturally we are drawn to it and I know we aren’t the only ones. Sometimes I haven’t even finished the day we are in before I start thinking and planning the next day of my life but again the more time I have to think about it the more I can cram in right…

We have to work hard to play hard in this life. We also need to balance social lives, health mentally and physically, work/study, financial situations for our present and future lives and try get enough sleep. In my eyes if someone is doing a perfect job with all of the above then they are clearly not enjoying the work hard part.. or is that just me jealous of the people that can balance it all..

It’s January which is commonly known as the positive affirmation month. Its a new year which gives people the image of starting fresh and getting their lives together. They set goals for the year and have a false premise of trying to achieve them all within the first month. I hate to be that person but over 50% of those people fail to see the length of time and effort they should realistically be putting in for these goals. They become upset if and when they have their first off day of the year and then spiral down back to their old negative vibes and day to day complaining. Don’t get me wrong I myself have been this person and I will become this person at some point this year too. But it doesn't quite have to be this way.

Everyone is different when planning their goals. For me I currently get 3 days off a week, this means I can dedicate more time for myself alongside work. I didn’t think I was a sociable person but actually I’m quite the opposite when it suits me. I think because I spent a lot of time in my own had last year and I’ve finally started to come out of that shell I’m finding I want to fill every free moment with something. Anything as long as it keeps me distracted and progressing. Now this can be a positive in many ways as I’m getting myself out a bit more and I’m achieving a lot more than what I have been. However the problem with wanting to fill every given moment is the disappointment that comes when plans change, there isn’t anyone free at the times I am or when my social battery needs a recharge yet I feel bad for sitting still and relaxing. I’ve struggled with relaxing for a long time. Again maybe a the fact that I am addicted to chaos but also I think I just feel that I don’t have time to stop because I’m always busy trying to fix something or someone. There is a fine line between sitting inside for a day switching off and have time for myself in a positive manner. To sitting at home with my own thoughts having nothing to distract me. I have found if I don’t see anyone for a day then I feel a lot worse about reconnecting which is something I’m keeping a good eye on at the min. The three days do however help. It means that I can dedicate days to certain things while still having time to settle for one day as I have two more to cram things in. I’ve promised myself to at least go to the gym twice a week. Although so far I keep succeeding this with 3/4 times a week which I am proud of. I give myself at least one day to write for the blog while prepping one of the other days. Takes me a while to sit still and concentrate you know.. and the other days I can see friends and catch up with people. I feel a lot more in control of my active weeks and it just helps me switch off from work which is what I needed originally for my days off. We all deserve a day off and I forgot that.

Now I’m not saying this plan runs smoothly always. My weeks never go exactly to plan and this scares me every time when I’m trying to achieve so much at once. But I am becoming a lot more confident with spontaneity. I might try and book too many things in at once and overwhelm myself but I am becoming stronger pushing myself to make most of the time I do have and reorganising myself when I need to. There are times plans get cancelled and I feel horrible about it. “But we had a plan” “I’m having a positive day, what shall I do to fill my day now” “are they alright? Did they just not want to see me and cancelled at the last min” “what have I done now, my day is now a failure”. Is the way my brain starts to process. Very unhealthy right and not very successful. But its about being spontaneous and making the most of what you have at the time. This week that was the gym for me. I spent one morning waiting for my friend to wake so we could go and he cancelled when he did wake. He needed a rest day quite an understanding factor considering he’d been the past 7 days. But I was so thrown off and unfortunately wasted a good hour questioning everything. But after being upset for a little while I didn’t make it to the gym but I filled my time with other things. I tidied and organised my plants in my room and I then went for a pint with a friend very on the spot and then relaxed with another friend in the evening. A very anxious turn of events lead to a less failed day and more success in other goals I hadn’t even planned for.

A failed plan can still lead to success.

So I asked on my story some of the goals that you guys wanted to achieve this year and have wanted to give my outlook on them. Give an opportunity for you to see that it might not go to plan instantly but you can refer back to this if there is a blip and know that you will still get yourself to success.

Gym

You’re not going to achieve that summer bod within 2 weeks of Jan. It takes months of dedication and training to get in to a fitness routine that suits you. Once you are happy with your body it then takes a mental job of keeping that training consistent so that you don’t fall in to old habits and become unhappy with your image again. It took me 4 months to get back in to the gym and even have the mental capacity to want to train again. I suffered a long time with my image and once I stopped going to the gym those few times in September I no longer had a routine. It takes a lot to get yourself back to the dedication you had before because like me you become comfortable hiding away from the work or lose your confidence once you start slipping back in to old habits. I luckily had that positive spur for the new year to get back to training but was also lucky to have a friend that would join me at the gym and train alongside me so that I could gain that confidence again. This week I’ve managed to go alone 3 times. Not every time was as successful as my times with my training buddy but I got myself there, even for half an hour and did the little training I could do at the time. I felt disappointed today because I didn’t quite achieve what I wanted and after I was brave enough to take on the weights section by myself the previous day it felt like a let down that I was so anxious about the whole experience today. But upon reflection today I shouldn’t be disappointed. I still made it there 3 times. Even one time is better than not going at all and at least I powered through my anxious day taking leaps for once (off plan might I add) to try and achieve something positive. Fitness is a big positive for mental health with everyone and I managed to achieve that this week. Already achieving chapter one of my fitness goal for the year and that is my point. You can take it nice and steady to begin with because the goal is not to become fit within a week but to become consistent throughout the year. Take your time.

Be more present

I’m a fan of this one. It can also mean very different things. To be more present you have to be present for yourself first. Take the time to get to know you and understand who you are and why you are here. You will not have all the answers straight away and you may struggle to see the purpose. You’ll have days where you think its too much to try and be present because there may be too much to fix at once. You’ll become overwhelmed and feel out of control because you’ve taken your eye off the ball. You’re trying to fix everyone, plan for things that will make others better. But what is the main purpose here? YOU. You need to control life for you. Stop trying to take care of others because “they have no one else” or because “who else is there to do it if I don’t”. In the end we are all human and to be present for others we have to look after ourselves first and be present within ourselves. I can not get this point across enough. I lost myself for a long time last year and have only just come to terms with noticing my own needs first. I am in such better control of others situations because I understand what I need out of the situation first. Be honest with people and tell them what you need. Whether they are family, loved ones or friends you need to be honest with them. If they don’t accept the importance of putting yourself first in order to help them then do they really have your best interests at heart? I’m not saying deny people help in every situation but be brave enough to understand and accept your needs are important and people should accept that in this world. You’ll want to help them more if they give you that respect.

Showing and expressing my potential and creativity

Agreed you are more than just a pretty face! It’s about time you gave yourself the respect for yourself you deserve and show the world your worth. You know what you are capable of, its now about exploring these ideas and working with your creativity to make something for yourself. You took time for yourself and took a step back from expressing yourself. Because that’s what you needed at the time, only you can decide when its the right time to take that step forward. There is no rush and the right people will understand that and support you when you are ready to move on. There will be days where you struggle. If you’ve been hiding away for a little while recharging then you’ll feel the pressure on yourself to succeed straight away and come out of the shadows. Remember people can give you healthy critiques on your work and ideas, people will be honest and give you the hard truth but that is for you to take on and use to your advantage. They give you the ideas to help you succeed further, they see that potential and talent in you. But remember the only person that is judging you is yourself. We are our own worst nightmare when it comes to success. You have high standers for yourself and that’s okay but your judgment is not the end of your success! Have off days, get frustrated with yourself and then come back and remember who you are and why you had the urge to start this success story in the first place. Take yourself back to that positive mind set. You’ve done it before and you’ll achieve it again. You are capable, you are strong and you have potential to last a life time so enjoy that. So proud of you.

These were my top three for now. I will add to this throughout the year I think in different posts. I like the idea of taking peoples goals and showing them that the negatives or worries they are feeling about their goals is not the end of success. I hope this helps for future down days. Or you hate what I wrote and come up with an even better motivation to you from you.

Week two ish of Jan, we have a long way to go you and I. But I’m already seeing positives coming our way.

Good start, Speak soon x