2022

So long, farewell and thank you for another year of memories and lessons. This years reflection is a positive one as that’s the vibe I am choosing. I could sit here and reflect on all of the negative as the last couple of weeks I have felt worn out and unbalanced however thats not an option I am willing to choose this time. A few people have shown me that life really is what you make of it and that some people choose to play the victim in their lives rather than taking the journey through something and asking for help or trying to attempt a different attitude to help yourself. We are not entitled to anything and we certainly don’t need to blame others in every situation of life. We work hard for ourselves and our achievements and we work with the situation we are in and make it our own and I think some people need to remember that as we go in to the new year. But I digress lets reflect upon my year as this blog is all about me un shamefully.

The beginning of 2022 I was in a rocky place with a lot of aspects of my life, the heart was breaking, I wasn’t happy with how I looked or was acting around people. Really I was lost but I had a plan to change that. I started really well with my fitness and I plan to replicate that as I go in to the new year as right now I don’t mind how I look but I also want to be better physically. I’ve let myself relax but its time to get back to work and so I will progressively be coming up with a fitness regime for myself again and will continue to take progress pictures whilst I’m at it.

What are my top 5 achievements this year?

• Letting go. Making room for my heart to heal removing negative vibes that people were contributing to my life.

• Took opportunities to make memories

• Fitness

• Discovered a love for myself and an understanding of who I want to be

• Helped others whilst trying to control my own life.
  

What did I learn this year?

• I don’t have time anymore for petty dramas or people who want to involve me in situations that are going to cause me harm.

• I am enough and I choose me whether others do or not.

• You can have a bad day creep up on you but it’s important to learn from the past and find a plan to get yourself out of a bad day.

• Distancing yourself from certain people wether you see them everyday or not is healthy for your balance in life.

• I don’t have to compare myself to anyone.

I don’t feel the need to have an empowering moment list like my last reflection because all of the above were quite empowering to me in some form. Lets get in to my year…

This year one of my goals was to be more spontaneous which again I feel like I definitely achieved. Africa trip at the beginning of the year with 2 weeks to prepare was for sure a good way to start this goal off. As people know it wasn’t the smoothest trip away but I made the most of what I had there and look where it got me. I did things that trip I have dreamt of and I’m so glad I let myself go and took the chance. Thank you to my friends for encouraging me too as lets be honest they know I’m a flake and didn’t expect me to go either.

On spontaneity I allowed myself the chance to actually relax and go enjoy myself with people from work and friends over the summer. I usually don’t involve myself with too many people but this year I needed to get myself out there and spend some time just living and having a good time. I really benefited from this as it showed me the kind of person I could be but also the person I wanted to be. It got me out of a little rut of staying inside too much and hiding away which again did me the world of good. It’s a little different at this time of year as the seasonal depression hits you hard and the living situation with money we are in right now is a lot to handle but the new year spirit will hopefully push me out of this little rut I am in right now.

I reconnected with my greek connections this year. The last couple of years was hard due to friends passing and leaving and the whole covid time ruining memories for us all, however this year was one of the best years I could have asked for. I met new friends, I made the best memories with my family and I genuinely took the break at the right time as life wasn’t the best before I left for Greece. I came back feeling refreshed and almost back to what I wanted to be. It would have been lovely of course to have old friends there as well but let’s see what 2023 brings for us shall we.

In order to reconnect with myself this year I had to make a decision of who really was adding value to my life. I’ve had many posts about this this year so I’ll try not to repeat myself but its so rewarding when you finally wake up to the negative energies in your life and make the step back from them. I’ve noticed a huge difference by stepping back not letting certain people interfere so to speak. People who I once called friends really did show their true colours and losing that trust in them has allowed me to feel a little safer and in control. I also notice a lot more how their life is stressful and chaotic with lies now that I’m not there to take their negative and bad intentions on. All I can say is I hope they learn the same lesson I did of not getting involved and having enough love for their own life to stop lying to themselves and others. Just be proud of who you are and what you have and be honest. The best times come from that and there’s no more trying to run from anything because you can just accept yourself and move on.

One thing I will say towards the back end of this year is that I’m sad about drifting from my friends and I don’t mean this in the sense of they are gone from my life, its the fact of things in life changing and us both at each end not having time like we used to. I still love everyone dearly and I hope I tell you all enough but unfortunately it has come to that time in life where we grow up and we start to run out of those coffee times or those days together. Our schedules don’t meet up for facetimes and before we know it, it’s the end of the year and its been months since we properly saw each other. But that is life and as long as we all know that the love is still there, I look forward to the times we do end up reuniting. I promise to try and get back the time we have lost this year but if it isn’t meant to be then I promise to keep the love going in any little way I can so you know how valued you all are to me.

Goals for this year..

I can honestly say work has consumed my life the past month and I haven’t had the usual time to select and organise my new year, which is sad. But here’s some off of the top of my head.

As mentioned above fitness is still one of the top ones on my list. I would like to get back to enjoying it and not have it feel like a chore or something to dread. I went on my own for a long time but now feel a little lost when I am there. But I am confident I can bring that inspo back. (After altering this the next day I can say I officially went to the gym for the first time this year today and I am so proud I got there on my own too)

I want to finally face reconnecting with some people. My dad being one of them. Now this isn’t something I will really get in to properly on a blog but a long story short it has been 6 years of separation, attempting to meet up, therapy in between and overall me just cracking on with the struggles of life and not involving him what so ever. But I do feel time is short in life and this year is the year to build bridges. That goes for others in my family and some friends too. I can’t face everyone at once but they are on the agenda one by one so will see how that goes.

Memories. I made so many memories last year and I would like to keep that going. Spontaneity will play a big part there as I just have to take every chance I can get. Especially when I feel like I have no time in the job that I am in. I must remember we live for good times and we work to be able to afford these good times. But spending time with people in and out of the country and doing things that will allow us fun is top of the list.

Speaking of work I would love to be able to say I have moved jobs this year. Its not a secret even for the people I work with that I haven’t loved my job for a long time. But I am quickly resenting it and I don’t want to be a person that feels like that. Its mentally tough and I just don’t feel myself getting anywhere good with the job itself or the people in it. I feel I have mentally moved on from the pettiness and toxic environment that the whole place brings to me and therefore I think its time for me to take a leap and change. Don’t get me wrong the place has brought me a lot of good in the time I have been there and I will always be grateful but I think everyone deserves the chance to go to work and not feel like they want to have a panic attack at the sign of the logo. If I don’t move on and still get stuck it is my own doing and I know it is going to take time as I do know the job like the back of my hand and I have become too comfortable there. It’s a goal that is a strong work in progress.

Finally I want to make a difference this year. As I want every year but I want to be apart of something special. I do my charity challenges for myself every year and this year it could be that, that brings a special moment. But either way whatever it is I need to make a positive change in something to help someone. It’s all I ever want and I know I can do it with a little work. So let’s see what I come up with this year!

So with a deep breath in I say thank you for this year the good and the bad and I say farewell. Well done to anyone and everyone who had a part in my life, sorry I’m so much sometimes but you chose to stay so I must be doing something right! I am grateful for a lot and that won’t change in to this new year. But may this year bring you happiness, lessons and memories you can stand and be proud of. This year was a lot but we move always.

Stick together my loves and always pick up that phone if you need to.

Hello 2023 x